Friendship 1st

Commonly I have come to realize that simply rushing into a “situation”  or “relationship” will often ONLY set the road for DESTRUCTION…I see it, I lived IT. This partially explains why I can intensely elaborate, i owe it to my 3.5 year rocky relationship with the EX FACTOR and A FRIENDSHIP w. a certain someone that has evolved and is still doing so…Sometimes I think about if I had TAKEN the TIME to establish a concrete friendship, a foundation, a personal time frame to “meet-n-greet” and get to know homie (my ex) i possibly couldve avoided the pain and hurt that I experienced as well as what I MAY  have caused him…..

24 hours in a day..your day,my day, his day, and her day…We all share the same amount of time in a day, now how we spend it is an entirley different story.

TIME: a period of time considered as a resource under your control and sufficient to accomplish something…

With that being said, I have unanimously decided that in order to engage in a healthy and meaningful RELATIONSHIP with another being must one give THEIR time…TIME  to get to KNOW, UNDERSTAND, LIKE, TRUST, and hopefully LOVE that person. Friendship is first, and although many would agree to disagree im going to break this down, so if you havent been persuaded maybe this will do it. WE are so easily mislead to believe that if we “deal” or “kick it” with someone we have to expedite the process of becoming “official” or “an item”…Well news for all, if this is your common way of approaching a potential relationship I would press on the brakes real fast before you lose complete control of your car! How can you be in a relationship with a person you barely even know, trust, understand etc? Ask yourself if you really know that person, a few months? No that doesnt qualify as KNOWING someone, UNLESS youve known them all your life personally! Often we get soo caught up in the hype of having that significant other, or that person we can call our own, but how much weight does that actually hold if inevitably that relationship is bound to go down the drain because of a LACK OF ESTABLISHMENT…Friendship 1st!

I know I rushed into my last relationship and it has casued me to despise my EX for the person he has grown to become, and its probably vice versa for him..I also noticed that being in an unhealthy and undefined relationship will cause the UGLY side of you to come out. a side that you may never known even existed until NOW!!!! Who deep down inside really desires that? NO ONE I would hope ! Sometimes it IS in FACT impossible to avoid situations like this, and NO im no Doctor that has done extensive scholarly research on this matter, but like i said I SEE IT, I LIVED it, i LOOK back on it, and now IM MOVING FORWARD and here blogging my insight along with others who have voiced their thoughts on the subject matter as well. I recall a SPECIAL SOMEONE saying to me “I know plenty of my boys that go out to the club thinkn they going to snatch up a bad bxtch, they do, and then 3 weeks later theyre in a RELATIONSHIP…3 months later the relationship has problems….they need to take the time to really get to know a female……” Now, we all know EVERY relationship will experience tough times for whatever reasons, but problems being so premature in the relationship may not be such a good sign for the future of the relationship. If you and that person arent meant to be boyfriend and girlfriend, or husband and wife, IT WILL BE..But I will assure you that establishing a stern and concrete foundation with that individual will avoid a whole hell of alot of problems. Like I mentioned earlier on, realistically speaking EVERY RELATIONSHIP WILL BARE PROBLEMS, but taking the time out to get know and establish a REAL friendship with that person could perhaps assist YOU in AVOIDING UNECESSAY issues! Individuals are so worried about delving head first into a situation because of their own personal reasons but thoroughly think it through, put as much into perspective as possible and you may come to realize that you in fact are really interested in pursuing something OR you may even come to see you probably could never be with that person. Im just saying, taking the time out to THINK about these things. Take the time out to establish FRIENDSHIP 1ST. To put things into perspective, think about a past relationship that was a complete FAIL, but also an extreme EYE OPENER. My situation isnt bad its just the way it is, my ex and i dont even LIKE each other, to the point where if we see each other in public it is highly likely that he and I wont even utter 2 words to one another. Now, to say establishing a REAL FRIENDSHIP with him wouldve meant we would be together till “death do us part” is a bit extreme, but maybe if we had taken the time to DEEPLY understand, know, and trust one another, we would at least say HELLO. So, you see, even if you establish a friendship that turns into a relationship that didnt work out, if that FRIENDSHIP wa EVER REAL, you and that person will continue to be friends after the fact. FRIENDSHIP 1ST………..

Whether its grabbing a bite to eat, talking about personal problems regarding friends or family, taking a ride somewhere, or simply chillen out and watching a movie. Take the time to get to know your INTEREST, establish a REAL FRIENDSHIP with him/her and you will come to realize you have a greater appreciation for them as well as what you have GROWN TO BECOME WITH THAT PERSON. I can personally relate, and i must say through it all, even though it may not be that much, MY FRIEND 1ST will always be my FRIEND even if I NEVER indulged in a RELATIONSHIP w.HIM…I have gotten to a certain comfort level with him and its one of EUPHORIA. I ponder on if i had try to “be with him” way before i really got to kick it with him and talk about real life shit, and to be totally honest IT WOULD HAVE NEVER WORKED, all things considered it just wouldnt have. You must be able to weather the storm with that friend, be there for them, even if they dont let you know that they know you care, initiate and take charge because when its all said and done the VALUE of this FRIENDSHIP is PRICELESS.  I dont know about you but id much rather prefer a PRICELESS FRIENDSHIP over a VALUELESS AND UNFULFILLING RELATIONSHIP…”A VALUED friendship is like a RARE diamond, it is multifaceted and hard to come by…”-BMORE

With that being said, take your TIME, no need 2 rush because what ever is meant to happen will, even if it means you and that certain someone fall off momentarily, it will happen. You must go through the good, bad, ugly, and confusion before you are able to kick back relax and ENJOY THE RIDE W.OUT any WORRIES.”Patience is a VIRTUE” and this couldnt be more true, let time tell it all, but DURING that time, make sure you are taking the essential steps in trying to ESTABLISH YOUR FRIENDSHIP 1ST………Until Next Time…B.MORE

  

I’ll leave you with a little bit of INSIGHT:

• “Wise men say ONLY fools RUSH IN….” -Elvis Presley
• “Its easy to fall in love.The HARD part is finding someone to CATCH YOU…” -Bertrand Russell
• “We WASTE TIME looking for the Perfect Lover, instead of CREATING the PERFECT LOVE…” -Tom Robbins

If the Shoe Fits, Wear It….

With the world we live in today, I find it to be extremely disturbing dealing with certain individuals who claim to be ONE thing and yet their actions display a completely different thing. Jay-Z said it best when he stated “Girls, Girls, Girls, Girls..” and although he doesnt mean it in the same context as I, it wouldnt have been expressed any better.

Sometimes I wonder what drives a woman to be sooo shallow. Ive never been fond of dealing with an ex of a friend or anything of that nature. But lately ive found that alot of shit been going “sideways”, But im saying if the shoe fits, then by all means, wear it!!! I would never knock anyone elses way of going about things, id sismply state the facts and let it be known , I do NOT rock LIKE THAT and NEVER WILL.

See, My Shoe, it couldnt be a more perfect fit. I dont settle PURPOSELY, and if i come to find out that things arent going my way, nor are they going the right way, i keep it moving like i never even stopped!!! Young, ambitious, college girl from the hood, desires the finest of the finest and will work hard on MY OWN to make sure that i acquire MY REQUIRED RETURN in LIFE!!! Ever hear the old cliche, “you get back what you put in…” well im putting in that crazy OT, and so for that i look forward to that large payout. I have and will never rely on a man to stabilize me in my life, IM INDEPENDENT, and i would never allow for anyone to take that from me. I could easily SETTLE for a dude who wants to provide me with the world, but what fulfillment will i be getting out of that??? Flossing MOMENTARILY, and then when thats over, how do i explain myself, how do i explain why im not DOING IT like i was before…One of my homegirls once said ” what is the point in me dealing w. a man that im not even able to lay next to in bed because i am NOT attracted to him…He can have all the Louis, Gucci, that he wants, thats not going to satisfy me….”  She couldnt have said it in a more sophisticated and classy manner. This is indeed TRUE…Those are the shoes im weraing, Metaphorically speaking Im rocking those Christian Louboutin’s and these other females are still on those Nine West. See MY shoe is high class, EARNED, they shoes are simply a pair they SETTLED for because it was EASY…..For all the idiots i am using shoes as a metaphor of life….

I find that alot of females in the hood are simply searching for a MAN that will carry them inlife because they chose to sell themselves short, so now they need an EASY OUTLET to that GOOD LIFE…. The reality of this is unless you making sure homie put you on his life insurance policy and or in his will (if he has any valuable assests) that is NOT A PROMISED LIFE. I mean i dont even see why or how someone can go around faking the funk, but i mean  If the Shoe Fits, By all means wear it!!!

Drake couldnt have put it into perspective any better than this ” it may not mean nothing to yall, but understand nothing was done for me, so i dont plan on stopping at all, I WANT THIS S*** FOREVER MAN…” Forever means HARDWORK delivered from ME, not anyone else, and damn sure not a “man”… Im all for finding the right  one, but sooo against kickin it with a man for his dough, and even worse kickin it because he has a wifey and you just want to feel good knowing you can have him also….WHERE THEY DO THAT AT???  ALL OVER, but any real woman, would get out while she still can, because ultimately YOURE SETTING YOURSELF UP TO BE HURT!!! If it means him leaving you for NUMERO TRES, or because he done had enough playing and is ready to be a man and getting back  with NUMERO UNO….hurt is definately a factor in your equation even if you dont see it yet!!! But hey, if the shoe shits, WEAR IT…..

Never been the type to KNOCK another females MEANS OF “GETTING IT”, but I feel the need to address the atrocity thats occuring amongst the females in a HOOD NEAR ME and YOU